Software Engineering and toilets

One of the most consistent things I’ve found about working in software is the quality of the toilets. For some reason, there are always problems with the toilets.

At my first programming job there was a guy who would bleed all over the toilet bowl every day, and not clean up the blood.

At my second programming job, I had to clock out to use the toilets. Also, one time I opened the toilet door to find my boss bending over, wiping his arse.

At my third programming job, the toilet flushes were so useless that you’d need to flush 5-8 times to get the poo down, and wait 3 minutes between each flush for the cistern to refill. Literally thousands of pounds in engineering time was wasted just because of some crappy toilets.

At my fourth programming job, there just weren’t enough toilets to go round and one time I overheard two guys in adjacent cubicles having a noisy conversation about their piss up the night before, whilst both shitting really, really loudly.

At my current programming job, I found a turd that looked like a baby walrus just hunched there in the pan that somebody had left as a surprise.